Love!!!!!

Hi Friend,
Just a few things I  think you should know before you embark on this new friendship
If you make me mad I may not speak to you.Make me mad enough,I'll wish you never existed.Hurt me and I'll find a magic wand to erase every good thing you've ever done and the worst will be the only thing I remember.And I'll always remind you of what you've done.
But I Love you tho.

Lol.Imagine someone saying that to you?
Kind of nervy huh?
But we do that all of the time in our actions.
Lately I have been challenged in the "love" area...Not necessarily in that of romantics but, overall.I'm the type of person that doesn't take things at face value,I need core evidence and foundational truth before i can believe it.I need to know that this is the right way.That's one reason why I take my Beliefs in Christ seriously.It doesn't obey the laws of physics(hence our prayers reach Him before we open our mouths).There are no Chemistry formulas that can break down its truths.SO what?How do you believe if it can't be measured?But I will say Christianity requires faith .Not everything is logical.

SO.....getting to the meat of this...I have been struggling with "forgiveness".A ha!
It's one thing to say: "I forgive you,now go on about your business and never show your face again" but another to say :" I forgive you and I love you too...now go on about your business".....lol
Seriously...I thought I had this forgiveness thing in the bag.Forgive so you'll be forgiven....so on and so forth.BUT!....it turns out (through self examination) I forgive on my own terms.I can let it go ,as long as Im not thinking about it..so if I can push this as far a possible to the back of my mind,it keeps it from hurting over and over.NOT SO!....what you try to hide always finds another way out,either in actions or future circumstances.Like...digestion,sooner or later what you eat has got to be released.If it doesn't get out one way,your body will find another and if that way doesn't work,your insides and your whole system is knocked off,and you get sick.Same thing with unforgiveness,you get sick.You;re not well.You;re heart gets hardened and you put so much into this one feeling that all else is affected.

What to do? what to do?
SO I've prayed about this thing.Ask God to help me...and HE has.But I've realized its a process that has a date and time determined by God NOT me...I can't rush recovery.:-/
I have no answers at the moment.Just thoughts and consistent prayer.
"God help me to love like you love.A love like mine isn't a love that you've required.My love holds a grudge,my love secretly has disdain. My love isn't love at all.This is why I NEED you God..."

For no other reason I trust God because life is enough all on its own.I'm convinced and persuaded that God has all the answers and I don't..I know He does.A HA!..Even if He doesn't tell me a single thing.Which is why my trust is in Him.SO if you read this blog and are tired of the rants and raves about Jesus.....I make no apologies.Champions make no apologies for a solid win, hatred makes no apology for the lives lost.SO why should I sigh and be timid about the God who has Loved me and continues to teach me?I wont.I love him and honestly that's the only type of Love I think I've gotten right.

I Corinthians 13

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 

If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. 

If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

   Love never gives up.
   Love cares more for others than for self.
   Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
   Love doesn't strut,
   Doesn't have a swelled head,
   Doesn't force itself on others,
   Isn't always "me first,"
   Doesn't fly off the handle,
   Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
   Doesn't revel when others grovel,
   Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
   Puts up with anything,
   Trusts God always,
   Always looks for the best,
   Never looks back,
   But keeps going to the end.

Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. 

One my pursuit to Love like I've been Loved by God...join me.

John 15:13
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

Keeks

New Passion..I.love..."I.Adorn"

So as some may know I love earrings....My collections is BANANAS(that means Huge yet great..lol).....over  50 pairs....but that's just Dangling- ear chandelier ,not including studs :-).
Any I have a new found passion,of which I will soon be debuting for sale.My company will be called I.Adorn.

 Take  a LOOK..
All handmade by me....

 COMMENT PLEASE! :-)

Walking Backwards.....

SO I woke up with some interesting thoughts.People say that in your "singleness",when you reach a certain age ,things either get really clear or remain foggy.One of my teachers/Mentor says that your 20's are your trial and error area.God knows you'll mess up and the reality is,you're still embarking on life..He calls it our "Adult Adolescence".I wouldn't suggest he's co-signing knucklehead behavior ,but just reassuring us of the fact that this is a "known" stage and a process in almost everyone's life.You're fresh out of college,newly in the "adult"  realm.Its quite over bearing no matter how fast or slow you've grown up.

Interesting fact:Kangaroos and Emu's cannot walk backwards.WRONG!.lol Apparently they CAN but they don't...because it makes them vulnerable and unable to properly defend themselves adequately and more susceptible to attack..Amongst other things,physically they have a huge tail which makes it cumbersome as well.
I was sitting at work pondering this very fact.
Backwards,Reverse, going full body forth into situations familiar and common to you.
Looking back is one thing,going back is another.Picture police officers going into unknown territory forewarned of danger,they are to be  well armed and have to look front ,back,at there sides,up and down,to make sure its safe to go AHEAD.
I thought about what happens when we doubt progress and begin to pick up old habits and falsified memories of "happiness".Where we bend scenarios and try to remake them into what we feel could have happened.Going backwards never ends up correct.Backwards with an unfixed ,or unchanged mentality makes you even more vulnerable to what is behind...which by the way has upped it's ante and strength,since you last left it.It's stronger than you,and one step ahead.Ha! and we go back...fore what?

LoL I laugh  at how in church we say "back slide". have you even slid backwards on a  sliding board?As a kid it's fun,you put your feet up hold onto the railing and let go, and it's smooth sailing...but if you go too fast..you will fall right on your butt!Now down  a swirly slide starts off smooth but once you hit that corner its either whip lash or your legs are hanging off the side and your head is hanging off at the end and you're struggling to readjust your body. Try that as an adult....Ouch..Deep huh?...lol..Some of our life situations are like that.Ex boyfriends,ex-friends,old habits it's all in the same circle of rear view mirror-ness...lol(that's a Keoka-ism don't judge me :-) )


Lets' try moving forward,remember why we go full steam ahead,remember back then,but don't try walking forward eye's behind you...Believe me its a DISASTER...ask about the tourists in NYC...lol.. having a moment here.

This just a thought.I had to catch myself...I wondered ,what if?Or how come?and maybe yes....

"There's nothing wrong with painting a picture,its just hopping on the canvas that makes it all different"

Keeks

If you so happen to be the rabbit......Listen to me

Ran across someone esles' blog and saw this:

No one's sure of anything...and I think I *am* the turtle. Say hello to the rabbit for me--I may not win, but I'm certainly going to finish.

Interesting perspective on the perseverance in the midst of an uncommon pace.Surely the most uncommon pace you may seem to take in life is shared by MANY others.
I tend to think like this.."pray for the others that you don't know,because they share the same trial as you"

How awesome....I tend to say "Time is the Hare and I'm the Tortoise"..lol.Being at work Especially,or having many things to do and sooo little time.24hrs in a day seems hardly enough to get anything done...But!Just think ,God could have chosen any number of hours to form a  day.The sun rises from her bed just when HE tells her to,and the Moon knows when to shine.Though  sometimes share the sky.
Quite poetic.
It's all planned and purposed before we were and even when we cease to be.
Count your hours but don't rush them UNLESS your life is really filling them.

New Work-Habit

So a few of my co workers put me onto a ..work day -work out..
Mid day after lunch we do quite random work outs...Friday we climbed 20 flights up and down.My legs felt like they didn't belong on my body..lol Great, though.I underestimated myself...I made every flight in 10 minutes.:-).If it weren't for the excess smoke and dust in this non window having jail staircase..I KNOW I   would have been better...I was nothing short of wheezing when we got down..ugh NYC..and I DON'T have asthma...I made it though.! I made it.If i did the Rocky Balboa dance I'm sure I would have inhaled some asbestos..lol

That made the weekend  quite interesting.My body was aching no matter how much I stretched.I ALSO had many errands to run and didn't even wear flats.Silly me

Monday comes around and its Part 2...this time I went 24 flights..took about 11minutes give or take,since my calves and my thighs were STILL cursing at me.lol




























Today ,they con-ed me into trekking from our job to Bryant Park in 10 min....I work on 7th ave Bryant park is more like 5th avenue..a total of about 10 blocks (power walking) in 10minutes.THERE AND BACK.
NOW..I must say it was more like a skip ,sprint walk.NYC traffic is no joke and I had the nerve to be stubborn and wear my slouchy ankle boots...so now my heels are SCREAMING!
All in a days WORK-out ;-).We made it though!

Now if i could juts get someone ELSE to eat my Girls Scout cookie order.. :-/

WINTER MANNERS.

Morning Dears...


So upon making my trek to work.....late...in the midst of Potato sized snow flakes and 7-11 Slurpee feeling stuff under my Uggs >:-(...I see THIS..

A bus was SMOKING......hmmmm I say to myself as i continue to walk in that direction(New Yorker persistence)...I make my way closer and closer,and then of course realize that makes NO sense!So, I walk around the bus...lol If  it had blown up ,I'm sure the steering wheel could have swiped me..lol.But anyhow...I couldn't see where the fire was from or it was just a mechanical issue....SO "politely" but  more like "Get the Hec outta my way"...II hear a voice as I stand at the curb waiting to cross, "'SCUUUUSEE ME"....just like that..SO i pulled my nicely draped H&M scarf back to see ,Shuwacatea (Shoo-WOK- Ah-tee AH)...wanting to get pass.I let her pass, only to stand in the street because there was no room..its a red light!.So now I'm wondering WHY she felt the need to go around me with her big umbrella only to wait in the street for the light to turn green.(mind you she got splashed twice by passing cars..smh)...Some one says "Wow look at that...." she says "Jea I KNOW..that's why I was like...SCUSE me,lemme dead get away from that fire.."...lol(Yes she said it like that).SO you rushed around me ,thinking 5 extra inches would save your life ,only to wait like the rest of us?COMEONSON...lol.
I wont lie....the wait for the light to change ,was EXTRA long now that I could see a large piece of "something' under that bus ,lit like a campfire....lol I guess i cant blame her for rushing pass me...mmmkay YES I can..




Manners
Its amazing how the words we were taught so say out of respect can sound like cuss words depending on what tone they are said.
"Scuse me ".....the "E" and the"X" are silent..or therefore DO NOT exist...practice Your hood vernacular...:-)



BTW----->
CHECK OUT THE UGGS....LOL this winter has them looking beat!...BUT...my feet are DRY!MUCH improvement compared to ppls complaints of having wet soggy feet...:-(
Good day Folks..
Travel Safe!

Keeks

Hunch Back Hymn

I painted a picture of you with the world in mind

I carefully caressed each feature ,careless of time.

Careful to create a face like mine.

I took some from THEN and some for to come

To create the one you see in the mirror,with a look so glum

Now you sing a song which i call A HUNCHBACK HYMN

A song sung straight from the ground ,outward in.

Eyes looking down you walk the earth so small,eyes cluttered with everything below,you loose sight of it ALL.

How did it become so easy to take their word over mine?

You measure the beauty of life from eyes past blind

Unable to see whats ahead you sing a song familiar to the heart

God why me?Why me?Pull me apart

Take this away because what you say in your word.NO ONE sees

I cant look up it hurts too much to see whats ahead ,if its anything like what's below,I'd rather be dead

My walk is limpy because of the stones they have cast...so what you blocked everyone,their eyes are worst that the pain of the past

Who's looking,who's to see about me?

I must cover what you've created so that they can see.

Even if I thought what you made was great I dress and talk so THEY like me..

My make up covers shame and hypocrisy

I covers hatred ,envy and jealousy

Mac has a new shade and even I cant see ME.

I like it that way,makes me feel like the world is below me

Secret song I sing,secret verses I sing.

Outward i stand tall,but without the "magic" I'd fall.

unbalanced does this hump called life make me.

Hunch Back Hymn I sing,there's alot more like me

How do you se purpose looking down on the ground

never making "I" contact afraid whats around

Arise and stand up,take the posture you thought impossible

Let God empower you.

Understand that the voices of them are not the voices of Him.

Only ONE knows the full extent and awesomeness of which you were created

SO by their scorn and mockery,comparison and fault like voices

you do NOT obey.

Rid yourself of the makeup made to hide ME.

Tear the cloaks made to cover ME.

Walk upright side my side with me.

I understand the plans for Thee.

 

Keeks