Tuesday, December 25, 2012


I think I loved you
but then Again I think it was more so my emotions pack full of caffeine over and over again
cells bumping in and around each other
sending messages to my well developed brain telling it to think of you. :-)
Whatever the cause,it doesn't go away
It comes and goes,and then when I'm in my right mind I think of you as that small inconspicuous stain on a white dress.
the one no one else can see but me ,it's small but it has left a mark i wont forget about until i cant see it any more.
You are that stain
You are ever so clear in the memories of me.
I can't have them back
I think I loved you
because, anger I am sure of,
jealousy I know how that feels,
infatuation,been there done that,
lust oh we have been acquainted...but Love...hm..
until i looked up what it really meant
I had no idea it lacked in me
I wont stand in on coming traffic for you,let a car ride over my heart
I wouldn't lay down my life....
then I realized it wasn't love.
You and your life showed me what love was by showing me what i DIDN'T have.God used You.
You pressed me to seek after a love that could look anyone in the eye and and tell them so.
The lack there of in me makes me press when I think of you.
You sir are not the source of my love but the channel by which God used to walk me through.
Therefore...I think I love you...no I do.
Could it be I love you more that you're away than when you were  near?
The love i have is more than the sought after verses of intimacy
Taught the addition and subtraction but the sum of it not multiplied in me
The fact is ,until I love divinely I've only been influenced by love.
Im almost there.Except every challenge that almost knocks me down brings me right back THERE.
Asking God please...make me a better me
So I can love like You
The place where all of a sudden it was OK to cry
It's ok to say you're hurt
I was always in God's bossom ,my problem is climbing down to love someone else.
So when I say that I love you,I mean it
I mean it because you taught me how
No matter how ugly it was,no matter how much of ME hurt more than you
Each tear was like the puss of an infection and cleaned me out of all of the poison.
I love because HE taught me.




Because you do things backwards you run into things you;ve already passed
Because you look back ,you can't grasp the things in front of you
Because your faith is tainted by YOUR view of love and sacrifice
You can only receive those things you DEEM as possible,only the things you have seen before
cheap........that's cheap.
God doesn't use our calendar ,so stop counting the days
God make me the ..........(fill in the blank) that you want me to be.
Merry Christmas!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

I wish...without the Genie

Got this from Amelia Pontes' blog..I thought it was fun.I agreed with a couple of her answers Random surveys that are thought provoking always let people know more about you.So November 2011...this is me

 I wish....

1.I  would have completed a silent goal  that everyone could see
2.Starbucks coffee was free and they made the drinks to look exactly like the pics.
3. I could travel the world anytime I felt like it
4. I had a white bed with a huge fluffy comforter with 10 pillows  in the middle of a huge room with brick walls and floor length windows.
5. I could see stupidity before a word was spoken
6. Family members wouldn't get sick..(I agree with her)
7. Women didn't have it so hard
8. Gummy bears were calorie and cavity causing free
9. I could eat popeyes and not feel like I threw my life away.
10. My friends would be my neighbors, and we'd have dinner together once a week.(I agree with her)
11. People would think twice and then three times about telling people how they felt as a means to fulfill themselves
12.I could sew every design that comes to my mind
13.I were Repunsal...minus the tower
14. That relationship was more important than religion.
15. I could exercise really hard in my brain and see the results...lol ok that was funny he he he :-)
16. I could sing....I would NEVER shut up
17. Evil was afraid of good.
18. The boy I'm in love with would read my mind and I would never have to explain my feelings..(I agree with her)
19.Children could remain innocent
20.Starbucks ..oh did I mention them already? ..oh that they would lower their prices..to ...um FREE.
21.The whole world to know that Jesus is real for themselves ..like really hear his heartbeat.


Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Shrink to Fit

So while on my way to work..my thoughts were racing as per usual...not even with coffee pumping through my system.
All of a sudden "Shrink to Fit" came to mind...
Shrink to Fit in the fashion world is in reference to a garment that when manufactured or purchased ,is loose and has not be contoured to shape.In order to fit the body it has to be dried or as Levis jeans has done,they must be worn in a bath and dried on the body so that they conform to your shape.
But that's not what I mean.:-)
Shrink to fit is more than the outer experience,it's inner.
After it came to my mind,I thought about how applicable it is to life's circumstances.When do I SHRINK TO FIT?
When do I conform just as a means to satisfy others?When do I become ashamed ,because it's too hard to be incredibly me?
Shrink-to-fit is what we do out of fear.It's a defense mechanism used so that you do not become a target,so you don't draw attention to yourself.So you don't "miss" an opportunity.It is a comfort zone,and anti-rejection aid...or so we think.
If you're a Christian ,shrink-to-fit is what you do when the world's values seem bigger and louder than God's,when circumstances are bigger than YOUR faith.When you come to a point where you are tempted to play both sides of the fence.
It may start off with a sense of timidity or seemingly respect for other opinions and beliefs,but turns into a don't ask don't tell factor of your faith.You don't ask me,I don't tell. Non voluntary dialogue about your values and beliefs.How about the first conversation (ladies) with the man you like?He tells you what he's about and before he has even finished you have silently responded or built matching responses to his answers ,so that the commonalities win over the differences.I need to conform to fit his mold.
I was challenged by "Shrink to Fit" it's conforming,it's changing your form temporarily or sometimes permanently to fit someone else.Where are you?Who are you?The only growth you get is fostered by boundaries of others.
Food for thought?Shrinking to fit was never God's intention and the turn out is never who you are intended to be.


Monday, August 22, 2011

Farewell Summer

Summer is almost gone....sigh....PEACE OUUUUUT .lol
Here are a few summer candids with i.Adorn customers and friends.
I love these ladies !Aren't they gorgeous???

I.adorn so you can adorn.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Mirror ME Mirror

The inner me enemy-------Say it over again to really understand it

I may be looking at you,looking at me.
You mirror me.
The things I don't like in you I see in me.
You have my face and all the expressions that read your heart
Your eyebrows arch like mine and when you smile terror departs
I love you,I don't love me.
It's in you I see me.
i see you before i see me
i need to look in something clear to see me,but before i can look at me,I see you
You with the words that finish my sentences
you with the inevitable annoyances
you with wanting to always be near me
you with the terrible selfishness
you with always having to have the last word
you who would rather talk than listen
you who calls all of the time
you who is overly affectionate
you who has too much confidence
you who doesn't have enough
you who is afraid
you who wont leave no matter how much i push you away
you who hates everyone with a smile
you who is homeless
you who is lonely
you who is depressed
you who left you for him and never found you again
you who sold you for a laugh and a hi five
you....who is me
you who looks like me
i see you before i see me
because you look like me,i don't love me
oh but then there's HE.
worth a repeat...OH ...BUT ...THEN... THERE'S ..HE
Oh He,who had me in mind before this blue ball was flung into space to circle the sun
He who made me from He to be like Him
why haven't I been looking at HIM to find me?
I thought i was
I mixed the right remedy to cure this,oh im spiritual chef extraordinaire
i mixed gentleness with joy so you could see me smile
i took lil bit of oil and rubbed the inside of my mind
i turned up the heat on the "oven" so i could turn out just fine
i was fixing a dish that would make me APPEAR just right
and I ate all up.
i must've accidentally made Eve's apple,because after that i had a stomach ache and everything that went in needed to come back out...
all of a sudden i saw me for me and not you standing there
but that's a mess.
hold my breathe and my chest so my ME wont stink
so im not all fixed and i STILL see me when i see you and i dont want to be your friend
and i dont love me because you are me and all this time im thinking it's about you but it's me
it's not you it's me.
There is me in you,and if I had not seen it ,i would have remained the same
But by doctors orders ,the best image consultant there ever was
I am like HE..because that's where i came from and when i dont love me ,that means i don't love Him
Well we cant have that can we?
So i need not find him on google maps but look in me.
He has shown me ,me so that now i see,
all of this time i wasn't really not loving me,but not looking at he.So now im looking to Him to see me.
And HE'S perfect and what a privilege to know i was made by HE.