"John Doe"

I toiled with the thought of you,the presence of who 

Then just in time to figure you out,you leave

You leave behind remnants of other emotions

Yet I still don't know you name.

You come and go as you please

Locking the door behind you as you leave

Who gave you the key?

I thought I could dismiss the obviousness of your presence,but you mask it with seeds

It can be angry,jealous ,lonely ,insecure and doubtful yet none of them is you

Your style is masked with a greater intent

Clothed in demise you make your way in.

I prayed you gone and had others do the same ,you left for a moment

I left a window open and in the front door you came

I called all the names I could, but you answered to none

So I walked and talked to God asking Him what should be done

You can beat a drum and get all the sounds it's suppose to make

But when you blow it,or stroke it,an unintended silence is all it creates

The wrong approach yields no response

You carried deceit,meant to haunt

So You were all along being called by other names

No wonder you returned as you wish doing the same damage as the last time you came

Unrecognizable by name only presence

I prayed and I prayed for your identity to be made known,the source of your essence

so I could knock you down in all of your shadow stature

The fall of you in 3-D.... captured

Discontent, there you go!
I know what you do,what you take away first
You stop what's started

your job is to unravel almost complete works

To hide 2 inches from the finish line

To whisper with sounds of familiarity only to destroy in a straight line

You came unnoticed because your name was hidden

Hidden by the loud sounds of what you SHOULD be, but that used to confuse me

Had I called you by your name before, I could have fought harder

But this time I understand and will beat you farther

I snatch your keys and destroyed your entry way,no longer are you welcome to make a home in my every day

Defeated is your new name because I lined you up with the name of my savior

And with His will at hand ,and knowing who I am YOU cannot stand

I watched long enough as you walked in and out.

Confused as to what you were about.

I thought it was me,but it's you.

Our relationship is crushed you are through.

I line up Love,Joy peace,patience ,goodness,kindness ,gentleness and self control on my doors and windows panes

SO that your next attempt to enter my world will be in vain

Consider this your eviction notice,you've been warned ,take you bags,takes the keys
You don't live here ANY more.
You're not welcome like nobody with an invite
You have not mail here,all things stamped and returned goodnight
You have been vanquished from the presence of me,so I'm not the inner me enemy.
Thank God I found you,my Savior surrounds you,swallows you up and straightens up
I stand firm and can fight when you try and return.

-Keoka

Opurtune appt or just a Lesson...?

Soooooo the most random things happen to me...

So...I'm VERY dismissive with men...lol ....Like even if Im attracted to you,I'll totally be like....T-T-Y-L..in your face,this coming from somone who doesnt want to be single forever.

Ok so on my usual Starbukcs run a man tries to talk to me..Nice looking,smooth skin...whatever.He's being very inquisitive ..which btw in NYC is sometimes very stalker ish..lol I let him know he was asking A Lot of questions.I told  him my name was KO KO and i had a bf..(none is true).He said he was Nigerian and was in an R&B group.I said ok :: side eye:: and continued on to order my Caramel Brule latte He asks for my number.I said NO..with a smile.We made a lil small talk,my friend comes in and..HE disappears..SO i google his group when I got back tot he office.

UM....can we say Super star?Dudes a millionaire he and his twin brother have a successful singing group.Platinum ,BET Award winning..and any other accolade you could think of  to rub my face in humble pie,lol.

I kicked myself for awhile because either way I was dishonest and very stand offish(of which my co worker says may be an indwelling issue since there was a similar subject on the most recent Oprah).But anyway.

I turned into the stalker monster and looked up all of the albums ,pretty cool group.Too bad he was so busy getting my info that he didn't tell me his name.So I have no idea which twin it was.He had on a  hat so it could be either one.lol.MY LIFE.All of this after my mentor(who's Nigerian as well) clearly told me(in his voice like God way)..stop being so picky,so off set.

So ladies...take it from me,whether an international R&B singer or the garbage man....dont be so hard ,so guarded,not every man is that one man that you have to shoo away.Be safe but not snobby.Be wise.

I could have just been meant to encourage him,not marry him...lol

Prayer :

"God....lol (who says Lol in prayer?) 

From now on I know better,I knew better last time,but this time I know BETTER.So whether it be him or someone else,I must learn to be honest and just..Let not another opportunity pass by,millionaire or pauper.Amen"

Learn from Me..."Ko Ko"

SMH!

Sigh!

I need to relax....where do you go to just relax?Feel the air against your skin,no ones words violating your space...Just you and God and all he's created?I'm not asking for an invite..just when you're done,let me go there too....
hmm
Sigh...
I hope you week was blessed!
Have a wonderful weekend!

Keoka

Day.....18 or something...

I didn't have Starbucks I had regular coffee.Society makes you handicap..I utterly detest making coffee myself...Like...who does this  but Moms and teachers?I like my coffee from a  menu and made with my name on the cup...Now i have to do it myself??BUDGET....BUDGET!

Are you lauging at me???
lol
STOP IT! LOL
Have a wonder-FULL weekend!

Day 3...

Day 1-....YUM
Day 2- Dumm
Day 3-.........ummmmmmmmmmm
The walk was great!
I discovered a forever 21 on 46th!I didn't go in of course!I also noticed that tourists travel in droves and have no idea that this day called TODAY ,they are NOT the only people on earth.Tourists make me feel like there has been a  sudden increase in world population.Living in one of the biggest cities I don't see how over crowding still ANNOYS my soul.
Yes!
I'm pissed metro card prices are rising!Are you frickin' kidding me!I am going to be paying EXTRA of my hard earned moolah to rub  butts with a big hipped man?!!!!???
Ugh!
Where are the protests??I'm there.. front line....yelling: "NO ! NO!...."(fill in the blank)..lol
Back to my trip..here are a few pics.

See the nice GPS on my phone?????How cool?!Apparently,I burned only 576 calories,walked nearly 4 miles(its stopped at 92nd street for some reason..I think because it felt me stop in Starbucks to pee....and then my throat got dry..so I got hot apple Juice...ugh ok Apple Cider)...so it didn't count the steps after...
But it said..I burned 5 Bananas...lol ;-)


EL Fin.

Day2 is...

Day 2 is the shadow of DAY 1...and there are probably 2 things you can say about it.
1-I've never seen it before
2-..DO over :-)
lol.....
I'm walking home today ...and according to Google maps it will take me....1 hour 47 minutes..
I will keep you posted. :-)
I will TRY!....TRY! TRY!....NOT to pick up Starbucks...:-)
This is one of those things that I am wildly curious about like....Climbing Mt Kilimanjaro and Antarctica...1 outta 3 ain't bad :-)

CHANGE....

Why is change so hard?
Webster or WiKtionary says change is :
the process of becoming different...the synonym is transformation.
Whoa buddy....I knew that.
My rendition: Change is like those stockings you abhor wearing but it looks oh so proper according to "Mommy southern tradition".And those bad boys get to rolling like water down a wall...and you can't just pull them up from the middle in hopes that they stay up BUT  (if you were taught correctly)..you have to start from the bottom and pull inch by inch,til you progress and the excess is used and now holds you in place.
In case you rolled your eyes...I was trying to say, real change means ADJUSTMENT.I need to adjust certain things.

Well at least I thought it was a great analogy...lol smile with me :-).
So on my journey I am now at DAY 2...Day 1 Would've been last week Friday,but in excuse and all of ex-procrastinator galour,I decided the first day of the work week is better.
So what is my change you may ask? Mmmkay...where do I begin?Well it's mostly the OUTER me..Mh yea I'm a lil UN-pleased.
I feel like I've hit 26 and have not taken full control of anything..not that I need to have control of life ..ultimately that can't happen but with the measly human power given me over this living body :-) grand as it is.I must take care of it.I don't want to wait 'til it's doctor's orders and I'm standing in line in Mexico for cheap meds, since America's health care is...no comment.
The outer me affects the inner me and I can't be walking around unhealthy.
My change is one day at a time.
Deal with the rants and the raves.
You know when you decide to change one thing ..a million other things begin to need a fixin' too.Like a woman without a grocery list in the Supermarket...I have more bags than I can carry.God help me...thank you :-)

I love Him.