I can do better....

Reverting to my last post ...HERE

Have you ever had a month,a year,a DAY where you ask yourself?How in the world did I get here???
It was a series of events that led up to ONE highlighted event that shed light on all of the others.
I consider myself to be financially......safe...lol HA! ...WHATEVER THAT MEANS..lol
However I sometimes spend as if I have a rich alter ego.
I'm coming to realize that no one is picking up the bill..but ME .I am the one paying for all of the expenses and am left to fork over the moolah EACH and every time I spend! duh!

Anyway I said that to say this...
I no longer wish to be "safe" I need to be secure. Aha! Do they mean the same thing ..?no.Safe is cool...(away from harm) i.e. I don't have pookie and them looking for their money following me around in a tinted black car.That's more like..Umbrella in rainstorm........
"Secure"-Make certain in the future. <<------THAT  is where I need to be (i.e...a routine is now a habit,embedded in me and a lifestyle).Imagine seat belt secure...not a car seat belt..no, like and 16 story ride at Dorney Park seat belt secure..Got the visual?Good.
is this making sense?

 I literally less than 10 min ago ..printed out my bank statement and went to dissecting my funds.Highlighting the nonsense and the necessary...and guess what came head to head ??Nonsense!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ahhhhhhhhhh.
Well I'm done with lying to myself and feeling like if I do good one month and have excess income,I've graduated into the better bank habit league.I can't start and stop.It's scary.
As a new business owner,learning that my gifts will one day be my MAIN source of income and possibly  livelihood UNLESS I MARRY DWIGHT HOWARD-#dontjudgeme I MUST do better.
I wont beat myself up...BUT I must push myself.
I must tell yo that this morning .....I felt schizophrenic moving my legs in and out of the square blocks on the ground as I shuffled back and forth wondering if I should stop for coffee at (fill in the blank)...I must've look REALLY confused.
But I took a deep breath and walked straight to work.

Anyway I saw this on this BLOG and I became encouraged.

I CAN do better...and since can means physically able...I WILL do better.

Keoka