Life as it is TODAY

#1-I deleted all of the secular music out of my Ipod....which was basically R&B..LOL and Adele (YES  SHE HAS A GENRE OF HER OWN) ...I need an emotional do over
#2- Consecration started at my church...We do this every year,50 days of consecration/fasting -in earlier years it was so hard and definitely challenging to the most seasoned faster(ppl who fast on a regular basis)
Fasting is essential to any Christian..as a matter of fact to any faith.It tests the mind ,will and emotions.As a Christian ,you understand that Fasting unlocks your senses,your ability to hear God and most of all a surrendered will.C'mon there's nothing like being hungry ...lol but with it much power comes.I mean what's the use of being a Christian(follower of Christ) and you not believe that you can do what He says you can?I mean why believe in anything then?-WARNING whatever follows will definitely be added to this.

#3-Mourning-A friend died over the weekend,so suddenly.All I can see is the last moment I spoke with her and her smile..

#4-My finances...are looking like I robbed myself and hid the stash...seriously though?Wata Gwan?

#5-Pondering Love-Intimate Love.Don't use the word "Love" loosely-I'm not sure if I trust it outside of God.Lo and behold...another issue of mine...

#6-What am I doing?The only thing I can say that i constantly do is (NOT even in my feeble human control)wake up in the morning....lol seriously

The devotional I read this morning was based on intercession.Intercession is prayer on behalf of another person ,intervening ..yea well.The devotional spoke about sympathy NOT being good in intercession.It can be seen almost as a selfish prayer,one that is based on emotions and not the will of God.The interests of the "feeling" of the issue(s) instead of the God ordained.Get it? Well if I'm overcome with a certain feeling and I being to pray for the person ,I'm really praying for the way I'd like to see things go instead of "God take control".It kinda confused me so I kept reading it over.I agree to an extent ,only because sympathy connects us to one another and often times pushes us to pray .BUT, we have a lot of  sad and distraught people because of "unanswered" prayers,where they prayed that THEIR vision for the situation would come to pass and if the outcome didn't it feels as thought God were not hearing.

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” - Romans 12:12
I digress.Let me get back to work.
I pray that God orchestrates your day and gives you the strength you need to get through it.
 Life as it is Now...TODAY ,"God,I need you more than I needed you yesterday".
Ke

Friends are like Itchy Quilts

lol..That may sound harsh but think about it.Quilts keep you warm and though it may rub you the wrong way doing what it's suppose to,you can depend on it.I hope that analogy is a WIN!

I had a long talk with someone and they telling me about a friend,and how they daily encouraged the person.I thought it was cool.She sends daily affirmations to encourage this person letting them know they are awesome!clever!beautiful!creative! and whatever else she could think of.
Something so small can make a world of difference.How awesome!!How life changing for someone to look on you and take the time to say things TO you that you may not think of yourself.What a GODSEND.

In the same hour I was convicted because on another subject she kinda called me out about the way that seems right to me when I am venting or handling  information.Though no harm was meant on my behalf, there could still be potential damage.
At that moment I was taken back because I had to think of all of the others times I had probably...no DID, do the same thing not thinking about the effects.Needless to say, I was quick to ask God to help me.

Do you ever need someone to relate to in the moment?Do you ever need to find the answer in another experience,so you'll know the resolve?
Well I went to the bible and all I kept thinking about was the children of Israel and the time where they had sent out men from their tribes to view the promised land.If you've never read it go check it out Numbers 13 .
After 40 days of looking over the land, there were 2 different reports given of the same land.A few saw it as flowing with milk and honey; fruitful; and the others saw it as scary and dangerous,full of giants;unconquerable.Which report do you think the people listened to?The TERRIFYING one?The one that was negative.It sent total fear and chaos!Can you imagine?

Immediately I thought about what a bad report could do ,the power of a SLOPPY tongue...it could destroy dreams and visions,dim the light of promises.A viewpoint...not even fact!
This is my interpretation....lol I'm not a theologian,there's MUCH more to be said.But I was convicted and had to think about all the dreams and expectations I murdered because of my viewpoint,or opinions.So I was quick to confess my faults before God and ask for forgiveness.The consequences are MUCH more than I can take.
So i resolve to encourage,Im not saying put a cushion on reality,lets be real there ARE scary and true.But the saying goes ,"EVERY TRUTH IS NOT MEANT TO BE SAID".
I digress,I am changing and I am EVER so glad for correction ,as much as it hurts,if you cant be corrected,you;re not where you think you are.


Can you relate?

-Keoka

I can do better....

Reverting to my last post ...HERE

Have you ever had a month,a year,a DAY where you ask yourself?How in the world did I get here???
It was a series of events that led up to ONE highlighted event that shed light on all of the others.
I consider myself to be financially......safe...lol HA! ...WHATEVER THAT MEANS..lol
However I sometimes spend as if I have a rich alter ego.
I'm coming to realize that no one is picking up the bill..but ME .I am the one paying for all of the expenses and am left to fork over the moolah EACH and every time I spend! duh!

Anyway I said that to say this...
I no longer wish to be "safe" I need to be secure. Aha! Do they mean the same thing ..?no.Safe is cool...(away from harm) i.e. I don't have pookie and them looking for their money following me around in a tinted black car.That's more like..Umbrella in rainstorm........
"Secure"-Make certain in the future. <<------THAT  is where I need to be (i.e...a routine is now a habit,embedded in me and a lifestyle).Imagine seat belt secure...not a car seat belt..no, like and 16 story ride at Dorney Park seat belt secure..Got the visual?Good.
is this making sense?

 I literally less than 10 min ago ..printed out my bank statement and went to dissecting my funds.Highlighting the nonsense and the necessary...and guess what came head to head ??Nonsense!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ahhhhhhhhhh.
Well I'm done with lying to myself and feeling like if I do good one month and have excess income,I've graduated into the better bank habit league.I can't start and stop.It's scary.
As a new business owner,learning that my gifts will one day be my MAIN source of income and possibly  livelihood UNLESS I MARRY DWIGHT HOWARD-#dontjudgeme I MUST do better.
I wont beat myself up...BUT I must push myself.
I must tell yo that this morning .....I felt schizophrenic moving my legs in and out of the square blocks on the ground as I shuffled back and forth wondering if I should stop for coffee at (fill in the blank)...I must've look REALLY confused.
But I took a deep breath and walked straight to work.

Anyway I saw this on this BLOG and I became encouraged.

I CAN do better...and since can means physically able...I WILL do better.

Keoka

Love!!!!!

Hi Friend,
Just a few things I  think you should know before you embark on this new friendship
If you make me mad I may not speak to you.Make me mad enough,I'll wish you never existed.Hurt me and I'll find a magic wand to erase every good thing you've ever done and the worst will be the only thing I remember.And I'll always remind you of what you've done.
But I Love you tho.

Lol.Imagine someone saying that to you?
Kind of nervy huh?
But we do that all of the time in our actions.
Lately I have been challenged in the "love" area...Not necessarily in that of romantics but, overall.I'm the type of person that doesn't take things at face value,I need core evidence and foundational truth before i can believe it.I need to know that this is the right way.That's one reason why I take my Beliefs in Christ seriously.It doesn't obey the laws of physics(hence our prayers reach Him before we open our mouths).There are no Chemistry formulas that can break down its truths.SO what?How do you believe if it can't be measured?But I will say Christianity requires faith .Not everything is logical.

SO.....getting to the meat of this...I have been struggling with "forgiveness".A ha!
It's one thing to say: "I forgive you,now go on about your business and never show your face again" but another to say :" I forgive you and I love you too...now go on about your business".....lol
Seriously...I thought I had this forgiveness thing in the bag.Forgive so you'll be forgiven....so on and so forth.BUT!....it turns out (through self examination) I forgive on my own terms.I can let it go ,as long as Im not thinking about it..so if I can push this as far a possible to the back of my mind,it keeps it from hurting over and over.NOT SO!....what you try to hide always finds another way out,either in actions or future circumstances.Like...digestion,sooner or later what you eat has got to be released.If it doesn't get out one way,your body will find another and if that way doesn't work,your insides and your whole system is knocked off,and you get sick.Same thing with unforgiveness,you get sick.You;re not well.You;re heart gets hardened and you put so much into this one feeling that all else is affected.

What to do? what to do?
SO I've prayed about this thing.Ask God to help me...and HE has.But I've realized its a process that has a date and time determined by God NOT me...I can't rush recovery.:-/
I have no answers at the moment.Just thoughts and consistent prayer.
"God help me to love like you love.A love like mine isn't a love that you've required.My love holds a grudge,my love secretly has disdain. My love isn't love at all.This is why I NEED you God..."

For no other reason I trust God because life is enough all on its own.I'm convinced and persuaded that God has all the answers and I don't..I know He does.A HA!..Even if He doesn't tell me a single thing.Which is why my trust is in Him.SO if you read this blog and are tired of the rants and raves about Jesus.....I make no apologies.Champions make no apologies for a solid win, hatred makes no apology for the lives lost.SO why should I sigh and be timid about the God who has Loved me and continues to teach me?I wont.I love him and honestly that's the only type of Love I think I've gotten right.

I Corinthians 13

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 

If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. 

If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

   Love never gives up.
   Love cares more for others than for self.
   Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
   Love doesn't strut,
   Doesn't have a swelled head,
   Doesn't force itself on others,
   Isn't always "me first,"
   Doesn't fly off the handle,
   Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
   Doesn't revel when others grovel,
   Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
   Puts up with anything,
   Trusts God always,
   Always looks for the best,
   Never looks back,
   But keeps going to the end.

Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. 

One my pursuit to Love like I've been Loved by God...join me.

John 15:13
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

Keeks

Walking Backwards.....

SO I woke up with some interesting thoughts.People say that in your "singleness",when you reach a certain age ,things either get really clear or remain foggy.One of my teachers/Mentor says that your 20's are your trial and error area.God knows you'll mess up and the reality is,you're still embarking on life..He calls it our "Adult Adolescence".I wouldn't suggest he's co-signing knucklehead behavior ,but just reassuring us of the fact that this is a "known" stage and a process in almost everyone's life.You're fresh out of college,newly in the "adult"  realm.Its quite over bearing no matter how fast or slow you've grown up.

Interesting fact:Kangaroos and Emu's cannot walk backwards.WRONG!.lol Apparently they CAN but they don't...because it makes them vulnerable and unable to properly defend themselves adequately and more susceptible to attack..Amongst other things,physically they have a huge tail which makes it cumbersome as well.
I was sitting at work pondering this very fact.
Backwards,Reverse, going full body forth into situations familiar and common to you.
Looking back is one thing,going back is another.Picture police officers going into unknown territory forewarned of danger,they are to be  well armed and have to look front ,back,at there sides,up and down,to make sure its safe to go AHEAD.
I thought about what happens when we doubt progress and begin to pick up old habits and falsified memories of "happiness".Where we bend scenarios and try to remake them into what we feel could have happened.Going backwards never ends up correct.Backwards with an unfixed ,or unchanged mentality makes you even more vulnerable to what is behind...which by the way has upped it's ante and strength,since you last left it.It's stronger than you,and one step ahead.Ha! and we go back...fore what?

LoL I laugh  at how in church we say "back slide". have you even slid backwards on a  sliding board?As a kid it's fun,you put your feet up hold onto the railing and let go, and it's smooth sailing...but if you go too fast..you will fall right on your butt!Now down  a swirly slide starts off smooth but once you hit that corner its either whip lash or your legs are hanging off the side and your head is hanging off at the end and you're struggling to readjust your body. Try that as an adult....Ouch..Deep huh?...lol..Some of our life situations are like that.Ex boyfriends,ex-friends,old habits it's all in the same circle of rear view mirror-ness...lol(that's a Keoka-ism don't judge me :-) )


Lets' try moving forward,remember why we go full steam ahead,remember back then,but don't try walking forward eye's behind you...Believe me its a DISASTER...ask about the tourists in NYC...lol.. having a moment here.

This just a thought.I had to catch myself...I wondered ,what if?Or how come?and maybe yes....

"There's nothing wrong with painting a picture,its just hopping on the canvas that makes it all different"

Keeks

If you so happen to be the rabbit......Listen to me

Ran across someone esles' blog and saw this:

No one's sure of anything...and I think I *am* the turtle. Say hello to the rabbit for me--I may not win, but I'm certainly going to finish.

Interesting perspective on the perseverance in the midst of an uncommon pace.Surely the most uncommon pace you may seem to take in life is shared by MANY others.
I tend to think like this.."pray for the others that you don't know,because they share the same trial as you"

How awesome....I tend to say "Time is the Hare and I'm the Tortoise"..lol.Being at work Especially,or having many things to do and sooo little time.24hrs in a day seems hardly enough to get anything done...But!Just think ,God could have chosen any number of hours to form a  day.The sun rises from her bed just when HE tells her to,and the Moon knows when to shine.Though  sometimes share the sky.
Quite poetic.
It's all planned and purposed before we were and even when we cease to be.
Count your hours but don't rush them UNLESS your life is really filling them.

Because my Dreams have more money than me

Something that's so effective and helpful for me...is writing things down.
I try and write my goals.I pray over them and really try to make strides towards them.
9 times out of 10,when I have looked back they have been done.
365 days doesn't seem merely enough time to complete ANYTHING...especially since time seems to be on crack(moving way too fast).:-)
Days seem shorter and shorter.
God knows I have dreams and visions yet to come alive.
One thing I have learn to ask is if my dreams and visions are self seeking...
I mean you can't help but want to do things for yourself,but are ALL of them self seeking and have not one thing that can ultimately change a life besides your own?
I can sit on the beaches of Barbados forever,but my life is far more than a stationary position.
I must do what I was put here to do,besides it hasn't been done til' I do it.

Habakkuk 2:2-3
And then God answered: "Write this.
   Write what you see.
Write it out in big block letters
   so that it can be read on the run.
This vision-message is a witness
   pointing to what's coming.
It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait!
   And it doesn't lie.
If it seems slow in coming, wait.
   It's on its way. It will come right on time."


THINK ABOUT IT.....BUT DON'T SIT TOO LONG....

HOW IS THE CREATION TO KNOW IT'S PURPOSE UNLESS IT ASKS THE CREATOR?

KEEKS